Rana Ayyub's keynote speech gets a rousing reception

Young journalists in India are fighting an unpopular battle

Full video of the keynote speech ijf22talk by Rana Ayyub

When The State Attacks: Journalism Under Fire in The World’s Biggest Democracy

On the 8th of April, journalist Rana Ayyub gave the keynote speech at the prestigious International Journalism festival that received a rousing reception across the world and a standing ovation by the audience. Rana was in conversation with Julie Posetti, the director of Research at ICFJ and she spoke about majoritarianism, Hindu fundamentalism and the attack on independent journalism in India under Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Her speech has been shared as a front page story in newspapers. Independent journalist Bushra Afreen has transcribed, written the entire keynote address here along with the Q&A in a record time and is presenting it to the readers

Image by : Dominik Osvald

Julie: Thank you everybody for joining us whether you are sitting in front of a computer screen somewhere in the world or whether you are in the room here in Perugia, welcome!

We demanded because we had to, that Rana could fly, she did and she is here!

Julie: And she is here because she has a compelling reason to be here. She has an extraordinary and important story to tell.

It’s a story of state-based harassment and vilification and unfortunately, it’s now becoming a very familiar story around the world. But, in India, the world’s biggest democracy, it’s an essential story for us as journalists and for the international community to hear to ensure we are understanding the myriad challenges when it comes to producing journalism but particularly when comes to producing journalism as a freelance woman who is a Muslim, who is attempting to hold power to account in the context of what Rana refers to as potential genocide.

So, Rana Ayyub, who is known to all of you in the audience and who needs to be known by others who are yet to understand the value of her work is a multi-award-winning journalist. She is a Global Opinions Writer at The Washington Post. She was an editor of a highly influential Indian magazine. She has published a book independently on the Gujarat Riots.

She is a woman we need to hear from urgently and so without any further attempt to put context here, I am going to invite Rana to take the stage.

Rana Ayyub: Good Afternoon everyone!

It’s been quite a struggle to get here and my legs are slightly shaky for two reasons. I am nervous, and I am wearing heels that I am not used to (Pun intended). So, pardon me if you find me slightly on shaky ground, quite metaphorically as well.

To get here, to this venue, and to Italy, I had no idea that I would be detained at the airport and it was quite a struggle, I had to go to the Delhi High Court to get permission to fly out of the country as if I was some kind of fugitive. And then when I reach the Airport for the second time, I was detained again despite a court order, and I was made to sit. A lot of Indians are familiar with me and my work, so they were taking pictures saying, “Oh! She’s detained again” because I was on the front page of all newspapers.

So, that’s what it has been, It’s been a struggle to get here but I am really glad that I’m here and I can speak to each one of you because it’s important that I do not just speak about journalism but the story of India that needs to be told out loud and clear. We are living in a time when yesterday. There was a union resolution against Russia and my country, the world’s largest democracy abstained from voting.

But, there are more pressing reasons also about which we need to speak. So, to begin with, I will give you a background of what I do. I am a Global Opinions Writer at the Washington Post.

I am a journalist who happens to be a Muslim, who was born with a Polio in the left hand and the right leg. So, I was a cripple and I was miraculously cured. So, when I was 9, the anti-muslim riot broke out in Bombay. I was 9 and my sister was 15. A mob was getting to our house to pick us up for gang rape and we were saved in the nick of a time by a Sikh Man that’s the first time, when I was 9, that I heard the word Refugee and a Muslim being used explicitly for me. I had been made aware of my religious identity at a very early stage in my life and 10 years later when I was 19, I was in the state called Gujarat, which was then presided over by (a man )who’s now the Indian Prime Minister, Narendra Modi. He was then the Chief Minister when a thousand Muslims were butchered in 3 days under his watch. And, I went there as a relief worker, I was only 19 and that’s when I decided I had to do something because I had to stop feeling helpless. And that was an overwhelming feeling, when you were a kid with a handicap, there’s so much sympathy that comes your way. I wanted to get rid of that sympathy and I wanted to speak my truth and that of people in the country who had witnessed injustices for decades and that’s the reason why I got into journalism.

After a couple of initial gigs in television, I joined this publication called Tehelka, where my investigation then sent the first serving Home Minister of the state (Amit Shah) behind bars for extrajudicial murder of Muslims; that man now happens to be the second most important man in India. His name is Amit Shah, he is the Home Minister of the country.

So, after I did the investigation, I went undercover! I went undercover as this Hindu-American girl with a fake name, a fake identity, and a fake American accent, with 8 cameras on my body. This was in 2010, I infiltrated the rank and file of Mr. Modi’s government. For 8 months, I did a sting operation on all the top guys in the Modi administration, where they spoke the truth about the genocide of the Muslims and the extrajudicial murder of Muslims. When I came back to my organization, they refused to publish the story citing political pressure. I was only 26 then.

It was a lot for a journalist to take, to put her in jeopardy, and for her investigation to not be published. I went through a lot including a nervous breakdown and that’s when I started seeing a psychiatrist, of course, I am reliving those days back again. But I went to every journalism organization back in the day and they refused to publish and then I went to publishers saying can you try to publish the transcript of the tape of my sting operation; and they said, “It’s too risky a book!”

So, Mom had some gold kept for me, like back in India it’s a tradition that when you are about to get married, the family gives gold. So, she has kept some gold for my marriage. So, I pawned the gold, took a gold loan, and self-published my book which was called Gujarat Files: Anatomy of a Cover-Up. There was no media coverage but social media, which can also have been weaponized against us also has kind of democratized the space for us to speak. It became a great platform for my book to be an international bestseller; selling 750,000 copies in 14 languages. But, the courts in India have still not taken or asked me for my tapes for investigation.

After Mr. Modi came to power, I became an independent freelance journalist because editors who wanted to offer me a job in their publications before 2014, pretended I do not exist. Friends, who would meet me for coffee in the cafeteria would prefer to meet me at home because they did not want to be seen with me in public. Why is that? Because, I chose to tell a truth without sugar-coating it and the way it should be, unlike what you see of well-meaning people these days who refuse to call fascists by their name, who refused to call dictators by their name, who refused to call demagogues by their name. That’s what I am trying to do and that’s what many unsung journalists in India are trying to do right now in the face of everyday persecution of the Indian minority which is about 220 million. The third-largest population of Muslims in the world, where the Prime Minister of India, himself issues dog whistles against the Muslim Community.

Yesterday, a Hindu Priest, in front of a massive crowd, asked the crowd to rape and abduct Muslim women. And cops were present and they didn’t do a thing. This is everyday life for each one of us. One of the reasons why the Prime Minister of India and his agencies did not want me to board the aircraft is because I am one of those journalists amongst many other journalists who are speaking this raw truth that the world needs to know. The world needs to act now! Whether it’s America.

I mean, I just tweeted a couple of minutes ago about Kamala Harris referring to her in the tweet that when she was elected as Vice-President, we expected her as somebody of Indian origin, to speak up. The world is silent about what’s happening in India because you want to have a strategic relationship with India viz-a-viz with China and other nations. So, let’s ignore what’s happening in India. You cannot afford to ignore what’s happening in India. The Muslims in this country are at the cusp of genocide and none of the journalists can afford to look away if you look away, each one of us in the world is complicit in it.

I stand here, not just as a journalist but also as a Muslim citizen of this country who feels persecuted. I don’t know what will happen once I go back. I have been called by the investigating agency back again as soon as I land. I don’t know if I am going to be arrested. Just before, I got here on the 1st of April 2022, the investigating agencies that had gone completely silent; sent a summon to me after the immigration officers detained me at the Airport. While I was at the Airport after about two and a half months, the investigating agency sent me a summon while I was sitting there. Humiliated, having an anxiety attack. 3 years later, I was at the investigating officers at the enforcement directorate. I was there at 10 in the morning and I left at 10 in the night, for 12 hours they made me sit out for 3 hours. This is on the 1st of April.

In front, of the investigating officer, I had an anxiety attack, I spoke to a psychiatrist, I popped in 3 anti-psychotic pills and there was no empathy. That’s missing! That’s missing and so many of us who speak truth to power, do not just have to face a physical problem, a physical death threat but the mental agony that no one talks about. When I was detained, the second time over, it felt like; I can’t explain, I can’t explain!

When I was sitting in front of the investigating and she was asking me for details of a $3 bill for my food, I felt like. They are trying to humiliate you; they are trying to trivialize everything that’s associated with you. So, I think and I’m proud of the fact that the government is scared of me and my words because somewhere it’s impacting them, my truth is impacting them and I am glad that’s how a journalist should be. I would not like for me to be admired by any political party in India. I would not like that! And, that’s a good thing. Over my persecution, no political party in India has stood up in solidarity with me and I take it as a badge of honor – that no political party can ever, ever say this that I reported in their favour. There is an unpopular truth that each one of us must speak and I am here to speak that truth.

Just before I got here, on the morning that I boarded the flight, I had to be at the enforcement directorate, the agency that’s investigating me and I went to the agency, I had to submit a bond and I send the e-mails, that this is where I going to be staying (itinerary) like fugitives do like criminals do. So, I sent all my details and my itinerary and I came back home, I was putting all my clothes in the bag, so much so that I did not even carry winter clothes with me while I was coming here, forgetting that I am going to a cold country. But, at some point, I just broke down and my father came, my father has Dementia, he has had two brain hemorrhages and he is also being accused of money laundering along with me of aiding and abetting my money laundering and so is my sister, who is a housewife, who has never seen anything.

I have put my entire family in jeopardy, with my journalism. A lot of my friends say a lot of my well-meaning colleagues say, why don’t you take a step back and why don’t you just relax for your health. The unfortunate bit is I don’t have the luxury of taking a step back. I don’t have the luxury of staying silent because my country and my people need me and there are so many of them who have placed their absolute trust and faith in me and I cannot betray their faith. Some people send me emails that they have named their daughters after me, how do I betray their faith? I can’t. It’s not a choice, I was never given a choice in my life to do this or do that. I was just born the way I am. I was just not given the privilege of choice but I am standing here and that is a big privilege. I am standing in your midst and that is a huge privilege that I am that I have an accord. I have been accorded the keynote speech which many in my country, the young journalists do not have the privilege that I have, which is why I speak on their behalf as well. Young journalists who just four days ago at a Hindu Rally, where they were out there to cover the hate speech against Muslims, were beaten badly, called Jihadis, and the cops filed complaints against the journalist. That’s India, I am coming from.

It is going to be tough, I know, when I go back there are going to be repercussions but it is the right thing to do and I think history, whenever it’s being written, will record the unpopular truth and some of us and our work will be recorded in history. Thank you so much.

Julie: Thanks, Rana, thanks very much. A very powerful speech from an exceptionally talented and brave and I hate saying that because Rana says, we shouldn’t have to be called brave for doing our jobs but in so many contexts and especially in yours Rana, braver, resilience all of these words are used to describe the fact that you can be physically here and you can continue to speak truth to power for as long as you are able. My name is Julie Posetti, I am the global director of research at the international center for journalists and we have been studying Rana’s case, particularly in the context of the online violence that enables her legal, economic and psychological harassment over the past few years and we have analyzed 8.5 million Twitter posts directed at Rana. The hostility, the misogyny, the reprehensible abuse and threats, and how they come torrentially have been hideous to watch. Imagine what it’s like to be at the receiving end of that. It is something that none of us can ever truly know but I can tell you from being immersed in this data, it is traumatizing to even be the bystander and I think, needs to be appreciated in the context of really significant psychological injury and how the internet has been weaponized to make a pariah of a journalist in a country the size of India in a democracy that’s teetering this something that I think, we all have a collective responsibility to address.

So, I am giving you some breathing space here Rana but I also want to start this conversation with a Call-To-Action. Those of you who are here to experience what Rana has to say are prepared to speak truth to power for me as a journalist, as a researcher, and as an advocate for journalism and press freedom. I think, there needs to be more willing to stand at Rana’s side publicly. This reluctance to be associated with a controversial figure is something that we have heard a lot from women journalists, particularly those who have been targeted online. And so, here we are standing with Rana Ayyub and Rana, you talked very powerfully there about the origins of your journalism which go right back to this 9-year-old child suffering threats and humiliation and becoming necessarily politically active at a very young age.

Can you just reflect for us now as a journalist on the state of things in India when it comes to threats to democracy, and threats to Press Freedom? What do you think is the urgent need for the international community to respond?

Rana: I think, the international community has played a big role in kind of creating this image of Prime Minister, Narendra Modi as a kind of modernist somebody who is bringing about a revolution. Back in the days, there used to be magazine covers of him. The international media woke up very late to the bigotry and the hate of the man given the fact the Supreme Court in India in an open court has called him a Modern-day Nero who looked the other way as innocent women and children were being brutalized and raped and killed. I remember when he was positioned as a Prime Ministerial candidate of India, a lot of well-meaning journalists said let us give him a chance. I don’t understand how you give a chance to somebody who has committed or enabled mass murder, how is that even a yardstick? And, that’s something I see a lot in present-day circumstances even the most well-meaning liberals and I said, well-meaning people. They kind of drag their feet in calling out dictatorship. That’s how it started and as was expected of Narendra Modi, as soon as he came to power – He is doing exactly what he did in 2002. He remains silent. He remains silent as he and his party members, his Home Ministers speak the most brutal and hateful language against the minorities. Not just minorities, but also lower caste and the farmers and the Adivasis (tribals) who are the backward class. When they speak up, they are dehumanized.

They are being labeled as terrorists; they are being labeled as anti-nationals. As I sit here, some of India’s brightest students and activists are behind bars because they protested the Citizenship Act, which the Indian government under Narendra Modi has brought into effect, that discriminates between Muslims and Hindus as citizens of India. So, student activists who were protesting saying, “We will fight hate with love” have been slapped with terrorism charges while, those who were provoking this hate against Muslims, who were on the streets, Mr. Modi’s leaders, they right now in public continuing to hate us. None of those students who have been incarcerated for the last 2 years, including this woman called Safoora Zargar, who was pregnant when she was incarcerated in of the most difficult jails in the country, just for saying, “I love my country and I want there to be communal harmony. We are being jailed for that. Some of the brightest journalists in India are right now consultants or independent journalists. They don’t have jobs.

Julie: They are also persecuted, aren’t they? I mean we refer to you as an emblematic case that the global community is increasingly aware of, you represent so many of the threats to independent journalism and particularly women journalists.

Rana: Like, Gauri Lankesh. My colleague, Gauri Lankesh, had translated my book into Kannada and we were supposed to do a big launch in the city called Bangalore, in the South. And there was some online harassment against me and she wrote on my Facebook that “Babe, these online paper tigers, they can’t intimidate you into silence” and she calls me and says “These are nincampoops, babe, don’t bother”. The next day, in the evening she was gunned down by a right-wing fundamentalist. That’s where journalism and till today, we don’t know who has killed Gauri Lankesh. Then there is Siddique Kapan, another journalist, a Muslim journalist who was in Uttar Pradesh, he was on his way to cover the gang rape of a lower caste girl. He was arrested while he was on the way to report, saying that he is anti-national and unlike he has been behind the bars for the last 2 years. He was chained when he had COVID, he was not even allowed parole to pay the last rites of his mother, who died while waiting for him. And, these are just public examples.

Just yesterday, when I was coming and I was reading the story about this young local journalist, who had covered Mr. Modi’s devastating rule during the second wave of Covid when thousands of Indians lost their lives, I mean in an ideal world Mr. Modi, should have been booked for war crimes. The way his government led to thousands of COVID deaths in the second wave of COVID. So, the journalist who spoke about and wrote about the lack of medical infrastructure, they have been jailed and there is a book that has been written by somebody, it’s like a shadow book about how Mr. Modi was the Hero of COVID-19. That book is all at the Airports in the country and is being promoted by every member of the government while our books are being censored. And, that’s how brazen it is.

Julie: Yeah, so you have these coordinated attacks online, you have the physical threats against journalists which have resulted in cases of death with impunity including your friend Gauri Lankesh. And those cases of impunity are used to threaten you and other journalists into silence but you also have this active propaganda and you have coordinated disinformation campaigns that are linked to the state via the far-right Hindu IT cell which is part of the Hindu Nationalist Movement.

Sitting here and hearing all this for some people perhaps for the first time. I am wondering what you think journalism within the country of India, needs to do. Because you have not just been vilified by people who have been hired propagandists, who have been hired online and offline. You have also faced pretty significant attacks from captured or partisan media. And, I think we need to confront that.

Rana: I mean, for 3 days, when the case was registered against me for money laundering, I had to switch my phone because I could not brush my teeth, I could not take a shower. It was difficult and it was my nieces’ birthday and her friends were home. So, the top 7 trends on Twitter that day when they filed the money laundering case against me were #RanaAyyubThief, #RanaAyyubFraud; I mean, it was disgusting. It was on WhatsApp forwards, Facebook, and Instagram. My nieces, my nephews, everybody in the world knew. In the Housing Society, that we live in; the society’s WhatsApp groups all share stories about my money alleged money laundering. And, asked my family members, if the flat in which we have been staying for the last 12 years was also a product of money laundering.

I can’t tell you the humiliation that they are subjected to. There were television cameras parked outside my house for 3 days and 1 journalist from a channel called Republic News, which is somebody that has been extending hate against Muslims day in and day out and is a government propagandist. I mean, it’s hilarious, in an ideal world I wouldn’t be talking about it. So, this journalist who must be around 22, must have been sent by the editor and with a camera person and I opened the door, I was in my nightdress, have not showered for 3 days. I have been in trauma and she says, “Is Rana Ayyub at home? I am here to talk about her money laundering” The camera person whispers, “She is Rana Ayyub”. She does not even know, who I am. That’s the level of awareness people have. They are just sent to do hate jobs and television for 3 days, on the first day of elections in India, that was the Headline. My bank account was attached without questioning me. Today, as I come here, I don’t have a single penny of my own, my earnings from the last 15 years have been frozen by the Indian government, and how did it start? It started when I wrote a cover for Time Magazine in May last year calling Mr. Modi, responsible for the second wave of the thousands of the COVID deaths when bodies were floating in the Ganges and I wrote a cover story. Within 3 days of the cover story, Twitter trolls who now are ruling India, Right-wing Twitter trolls, asked for checking my bank accounts for international funding from the CIA. A spokesperson of Mr. Modi goes on a state-sponsored channel and says, “Why should Rana Ayyub not be investigated for her international funding?” And, within a week, I get a notice from the Income Tax Department and the enforcement directorate, and henceforth, and there is a case of money laundering against me.

I will give you a small example, the other day when I was trying to get a court verdict to come here to speak. The court, the judge was just looking at the lawlessness and the judge said, “This is such a small amount, even it had to be to 10 or 12 crores, Why does it merit comes here?” The news channels were saying, “Judge accuses Rana Ayyub of money laundering 10 to 12 crores.” I mean from allegations of 1.77 crores, it swiftly moved on to 12 crores just due to dis-information.

Julie: Can you just tell what crores are Rana, just for the context. I mean, you are talking about $20,000 essentially? Aren’t we? (Fized deposit )

Rana: Exactly, this is United Nations, special reporters including Irene Khan, they reached out to the Indian government after this targeting. This happened about a month ago when the UN wrote to the Indian government, and the headline in India was “INDIA LASHES AT THE UNITED NATIONS”, not that the UN lashes out at India to protect me, but India lashes at The UN for protecting Rana Ayyub.

And, if it had not been for this coalition of journalism organizations, who have been working. The Washington Post where I am a Global Opinions Writer put a full-page probably one of the few times in its history standing in solidarity with me. A lot of my colleagues had thrown me under the Bus and that’s where I feel like, there is crippling loneliness that I feel as a journalist and many other journalists share this sentiment with me that we are feeling let down by our colleagues. We don’t have an assemblance of media.

Julie: And I think, it’s important to note too, that this is a global trend. For me, studying particularly coordinated attacks on women journalists and how the State in various cases is not just aligned but sometimes behind the orchestrated campaigns. The similarities between Rana’s case and Maria Ressa’s case are striking. And Maria Ressa went from being a journalist of note via her CNN Foreign Correspondent days to running an independent news organization in the Philippines, using social media for social good as she used to describe it going through massive struggles and coming out the other side winning the Nobel Peace Prize but still being threatened constantly with ongoing legal action.

Rana: Despite, the Nobel Peace Prize!

Julie: Yeah, despite the Nobel Peace Prize. But, in her case just as with you they began by threatening her on social media. Trending hashtags in 2017, #ArrestMariaRessa just as you experienced, and 2 years later she was arrested and of course convicted. There is now a playbook, that is visible, that’s particularly evident in South Asia and South-East Asia.

So, the understanding that we need about the fact that when a journalist such as yourself is targeted and what many journalists say is,” Well, where there’s a smoke maybe there’s a fire” (mockingly in a fun way). And, of course, we have to take a critical attitude to this but we need to do so in a way that recognizes that these are now standard tactics to target and vilify a journalist; in the case of women use misogynistic abuse as another form of attack and we will be talking about this in more detail at our panel tomorrow evening. All about violence with other journalists who have been through this.

But, fighting back Rana, we are told we have to fight back. We need to do things, to continue to be able to speak. What are you trying to do what do you need the rest of the international journalism community to do to help you, to hold power to account, to avoid being arrested, when you get off the plane, for example?

Rana: The international community should understand that what’s happening to us today, can happen to them tomorrow. If it’s come at our doorstep today, it will be at your doorstep tomorrow because demagogues and dictators all over the world use the same playbook. If we had, including us, had spoken loud and clear for journalists who have been targeted every day and persecuted, probably, we would not be in this place today and if you are not speaking to us today, probably it would come to you and there will be nobody left to speak for you; because, we journalists have become enemies of the State, where social media platforms are being used with impunity and been weaponized against us.

5 days ago, I posted an image on Twitter, where a man with a sword is saying, “How do you want me to kill you, should I rape you or should I kill you”? I posted an image on Twitter, Twitter takes no reaction, and Instagram does nothing about it. And, this guy then says, “Are you threatening me”? Then another person says, “Why don’t we go to her house and gang rape her”, and these are people with a massive following. This is not the first time it’s happened to me.

 In 2018, I was sitting with a colleague of mine in a cage and I was recording an interview for Al-Jazeera, a member of the BJP, which is a ruling party, who is also a source of mine; he sends me a WhatsApp saying, “Rana, I know we can be ideologically on two different sides but what is happening here is not acceptable.”

I said, “What happened?”

He said, “Okay, I am going to send you the video, please don’t react to the video.”

I said, “Okay!”

And the video comes to me, it’s a porn video with my image morphed on it. I see the first 5 to 6 seconds, I do not have it in me to watch the full video, and it’s coming and he said, “it’s circulating in the WhatsApp group of the BJP leaders.”

I go to the washroom and I throw up because I don’t know how else to react to this. And, the first thing that comes to my mind is to question myself. I am asking my friend, do you think, I am humiliated. And my friend is like you are a feminist, you are not supposed to see these things. I said, “But, yeah we are living in a country that’s not feminist. It’s rooted in patriarchy and misogyny and people will place the burden of proof on me”, and I came back to my table and I opened my phone, it was full of screenshots from the disgusting video, where people were asking me for my Rate and that screenshot was all over on social media, on my Instagram and my Twitter, on my Facebook. It was trending. Then, I try to rationalize with myself that I shouldn’t use the word humiliate but honestly, you do feel ashamed for something that’s not your fault but you do feel like, you have been let loose for a lynch mob out there.

Julie: And, it’s a very real threat, in any Indian context.

Rana: Yes, just like this time when the money laundering allegations were made against me, I felt shamed into silence. I felt like, if I go to the Airport, what are people thinking about me, who are looking at me? Are they judging me? And that’s what they do. They plant the seed of self-doubt. They plant this humiliation within you, which should not be the case but unfortunately, we live in a time where this kind of half-baked WhatsApp story is our new reality. I am living in a country and I’m sure that’s true for all countries, where WhatsApp forwards are our new reality and new stories do not get published. The Prime Minister of India has not taken a single Press Conference for the World’s largest democracy. Prime Minister, Narendra Modi has not taken a single Press Conference in the last 8 years to answer the tough questions, but he gives an interview just before the election to a leading actor, where the actor asks him a question, “So how do eat your Mangoes, do you slice them or do you peel them?”

Tough question indeed, don’t you think!

Julie: So, how do we create an environment where you can ask tough questions where other journalists are being arrested?

Rana: Why aren’t international journalists doing that, we are unable to and I am not saying that there are no outlets, like The Scroll, The Wire, The Caravan, Article 14, News Laundry which are doing unpopular journalism but these are not mainstream publication. They do not have the reach of these mainstream publications in India that churn out fake news after fake news every day. On the day a lynching happened in India, the headline of one of the leading newspapers in India is “TOP 100 POWERFUL LEADERS IN INDIA” and lists all the BJP leaders who are not speaking truth to power and these are publications who call themselves free, fair and fearless. No, it’s not free, it’s not fair, it’s not fearless for sure.

Julie: So, are they being killed, or have they been co-opted?

Rana: I think, they are self-censoring themselves, and these are opportunists. Let’s face it. These are not ideological people. If tomorrow there is another regime they will be co-opted by them. These are journalists who suffer from an ailment called Access Journalism. They believe in access more than the truth. They believe that if they report a critical story, they will lose access, and access is the bane of journalism; that we always think about. What if I report a critical story about this Man, we are not going to have our sources, we are not going to get our stories. These are journalists who sup with the Prime Minister, who take Selfies with the Prime Minister. I would be ashamed if I were to take a Selfie with a Man, who is accused of mass murder. But, journalists have developed this comfortable amnesia over the past of Narendra Modi but what I do not get is, why have the international publications; which now of course have started speaking the truth about India, and why did they glorify this Man on their Front Pages. Why is Mr. Modi not being judged by the same standards as an Erdogan or a Putin or a Trump?

We have to now ask the tough questions and that’s probably the best thing that you can do for us is to speak the truth about what’s happening in India. We do not do any favors. We are not asking for favors, we are asking for you to report the truth and speak the truth as it is, without sugar-coating it; in the language that is comfortable for your publication.

Julie: So, let’s think about the process of getting you here, Rana, which was and you have alluded to this which was incredibly complicated and frustrated by the authorities. So, we tried at ICFJ, to try to bring Rana to the UK for a week to participate in two events. One was a frontline club event with other journalists including Carol Cadwallader, who is a prominent UK investigative reporter. And then we were planning to do an event, we had organized with Doughty Street Chambers, which is a prominent Human Rights Law Firm, in London. And, we were cautious, we were unclear whether there would be any attempt to arrest you, detain you or otherwise frustrate your attempt to leave the country. Based on the fact that there was an active investigation but no charges at that point and still no charges about these quite serious Money Laundering accusations.

So, we got you to the Airport, and you were briefly helped for a couple of hours while they interrogated you, you were sent packing with your bags back Home. You then went to Court, several days later, they sent the Assistant Solicitor General to defend the government’s position which was that Rana was a flight risk and she was trying to flee the country because she was going to go into exile and so on. Then when you went back to the airport this week, you were again detained briefly, after the High Court in New Delhi had said that you should be able to fly, that you should be able to travel because this is a Fundamental Right under International Human Rights Law and there must be very serious accusations and charges to restrict your movement. And, you also have a situation the Chair of Amnesty International within 24 hours of you getting on the plane has accessed his Passport again via the High Court. Similar, legal challenges in the background are held at the Airport and sent back home, and again, his second attempt is sent back home while you are here.

I mean, what does that signal for you about the escalation of threats facing journalists and Human Rights defenders in India. I mean, it seems from my perspective looking at this from the outside, that we are experiencing a significant escalation, in terms of restrictions on your ability to connect to the international community.

Rana: What my lawyer Vrinda Grover, argued in Court is forget the illegality of not allowing me to fly, you are censoring Free Speech and Free Press. The trial was not just about my Right to Speak the truth but on trial was Free Press in India, which is why it was so important and in fact, we were not expecting. I mean. We did think that we are going to get a favorable verdict but not with the kind of harsh words that the Court used for my case and for the Former Head of Amnesty India, who was detained at the Indian Airport for flying to the US, where he was supposed to give lectures at prestigious Universities.

Mr. Patel was stopped at the Airport, a lookout notice was issued against him just like it was issued for me. The Court gave an order, he tried to fly again last night, and again he was sent back because the Investigating Officer switched OFF his phone conveniently. And, as we are talking, his trials are happening in Court. So, this is a new technique stopping journalists from speaking abroad because, you are censoring them in India, as it is. You are not giving us a platform in India as it is, so I mean, why allow them to speak abroad. I mean, for me this trip just being here, I still don’t believe that I’m here. It’s a huge success. In fact, for the last 2 days, I have just been sleeping, I mean, I have not been able to attend any panels. I have only been sleeping at seven in the Night and it’s a luxury for me, right now. Like, I was telling Julie, I said when I’m in India, I pop at least two anti-depressants and two anti-anxiety pills in a day. Since I have come here for the last two days, I have not popped a single pill. So, that’s a decent thing, but that’s not how it should be. None of us have to be courageous like that word is used very often for me and each time they say it now, I feel like it’s a burden that you are placing on us of your responsibilities, that you do not want to take responsibility for your actions, so you call us brave so that we fight your battle. Please, do not call us brave, none of my colleagues need to be brave. I do not need to be brave to do my journalism. None of us have to be brave. This is our Fundamental Right, why are journalists like Daphne Caruana Galizia, why are journalists like Gauri Lankesh, why do they have to give their lives to speak the truth. It was a struggle for me despite the Court order for 24 hours, the enforcement directory did not remove the lookout notice against me. Why?

A lookout notice is normally put out for fugitives. We are being treated as fugitives in our own country. And my question to them is for the last 6 years, I have been offered exile and Citizenship, Honorary Citizenship by 5 countries. I have been offered leadership programs and fellowships. I could have gone to any country but I have chosen to be in India because that’s where my people are and that’s where my stories are, and that’s the truth that I need to speak and the additional sources are general. I feel a great sense of pride that the government had to send the ASG to Court to defend. I mean, I feel like a very important citizen in this country where among all the cases, the ASG was sent to defend the government’s position for my case.

Yes, a lot of resources are being spent to silence us. Yesterday when I posted a link, I said I am going to be giving a keynote speech, and if you can please hear. A lot of these mainstream editors said, “Oh my God! Propaganda starts in Parousia now. You might call it propaganda, and I don’t care. Because of the time we live in, propaganda journalism is the new propaganda for the Right-wing worldview.

Julie: So, these are certain elements of journalism, in fact, substantial elements of journalism in India. Publications you are saying are effectively disinformation agents?

Rana: They are. I mean, for instance, one of the complaints against me on the basis which the government has unleashed a money laundering case against me has been filed by a group called, The Hindu IT Cell which is a self-proclaimed Hindu Supremacist Group that wants to bring Hindu supremacy in India. It’s on their complaint that is money laundering case has been registered against me and the day the News Channels were breaking this News of money laundering, they picked up a 10-year-old picture of mine dancing in the Club from Instagram saying, “Rana Ayyub, flaunts money off from money laundering case on parties at pubs and discotheques, a 10-year-old picture.

One of India’s leading publications, India Today, I should take names; whose top news anchor was called out in the #MeToo scandal and not a word was spoken against him by the publication, puts one of my pictures from Instagram and says, “Is she guilty?” Wow! Question mark! You put a question mark and everything is kind of justified that you do. These are the people who are propagating this idea that we are some kind of anti-nationals out there to discredit the government who are out there to discredit Modi, No! Modi is discrediting India right now. I am trying to me and many of my colleagues are trying to defend the idea of India. It is the Prime Minister of India, who is trying to bring this infamy to this country and he should be held accountable, but we are being made an enemy of the State who is being funded the international publications. I want to know where the funds are? When this entire money laundering case was going on, this news publication says, “Rana Ayyub owns a duplex on the bandstand”, which is one of the most expensive places in the country, that I drive Ferraris and Mercedes. God knows I drive on UberGo, I don’t even go for Uber Premiere. So, this I mean if you are talking, I mean, I need to know where’s the car and where are those swanky houses and they are being published with the authority that it is the truth.

Julie: So, legitimate, news organizations, or at least news organizations with a perception of legitimacy are using disinformation tactics you argue. About, in a way that assists the state-based harassment and legal persecution and so on but one of the critics you confront is that you make the story of your journalism, a story that struggles to defend democracy about you. That you become the center of the story and this is viewed by many as inappropriate. How do you respond to that?

Rana: A lot of my well-meaning colleagues say, but the problem with Rana is she becomes the story and I have always held this as something sacrosanct that journalists should not make themselves the story, but how do I deny my lived experience. My lived experience of that of a Muslim in India who’s being persecuted. How do I deny and how do I not write about the fact that my younger brother, who lives in one of the most cosmopolitan outlets in India was forced to leave his house because of the Hindu population and the majority of the Hindu households in the building? He was the only Muslim who stayed there literally forced him to vacate that house in an extremely, you know upper-middle-class housing set-up. How do I not write about it? I mean, I am an independent journalist, yes I am the Global Opinions Writer at the Washington Post. Yes, I write for international publications but I have to speak for myself when I am being persecuted. It’s so ironic, that many of these publications will do hate jobs on me but when I defend myself, they would say, “Why is she making herself a story?” So, you do not speak, we will not speak for you but you also should not speak for yourself. You are condemned because you speak for yourself. They are talking as about as if the lived experience is some kind of a bad thing.

Julie: Do you think, there’s also I mean this reflects this sort of pattern?

Rana: They are telling a person of colour in America, let’s not talk about racism, why are you talking about racism? Why shouldn’t the White people talk about racism? It’s the behalf of the culture – the culture of behalf-ism. You don’t speak, we will speak on your behalf, and needs to end.

Julie: Powerful point. One other thing that I wanted to discuss with you and which is evident from your testimony and the fact that you do speak for yourself, which again I think is remarkable considering what you have been through. But you talk with such vulnerability and such openness about your mental health struggles and how they are the products of abuse and the harassment you have experienced. I mean you are talking about psychiatric treatment. The need to rely on medication and so on. Why do you think it’s important to foreground that to be open about that in many cultures and many probably in this room would not feel comfortable doing that, Rana?

Rana: I remember, when Carol was writing a piece for The Guardian, she wrote me saying, “Listen you have spoken to me about your suicidal tendency during this entire thing. Do you think, I should write about it? I said you know what it’s extremely important that I talk about my suicidal tendency because I want to be a human, I don’t want you to see me as some kind of Superhuman, who the world can inflict all kinds of hate and the person remains just unaffected. Yes, I have been affected before, in fact, I was supposed to fly on the 25th to land and I could not fly because, I had been hit by a bout of depression which is probably the worst that I have seen. And, it’s so hilarious right, I called up a couple of suicide helplines. This is on the 23rd of March and it’s just weird that none of them picked up the call and next day, I was trying to call my psychiatrist and I went to see her and she said, “You have to stop this dependence on me”, and what she said was legit, she said, “Rana, at some point you are reaching burnout and I can see that for the last 6 months. It’s been extremely, it’s difficult on you, and whatever the government unleashes against you the propaganda, it’s affecting you. Why don’t you go on a sabbatical?

Julie: And if, you can leave the country?

Rana: Not just that, but if I could just be in the country and not speak up. But, it’s difficult. I mean, what we go through, I mean nobody talks about our mental health. I don’t even have the words to express this but when somebody is going through depression and anxiety and that kind of clinical anxiety. I mean, I wanted to die, 2 weeks ago, because it was really bad. (Very emotional)

Julie: You don’t need to speak any more about it right now.

Rana: But, no! It is important. We must speak about our struggle because I am done with this entire construct of these brave journalists. I would like for us to see as equally vulnerable human beings who get affected by government propaganda, unleashed against us on News channels. I was getting this time and the second time, I was detained at the Airport, I was fasting for Ramadan and it was almost seven when I had to break my fast and I said, “Can I just get some water to break my fast while you have detained me here?” He said, “Ma’am, can you wait for some because we have to complete our formalities.” And the other day, when I was sitting on the 1st of April, when I was sitting in front of the Investigating Officer, it was 10 in the night, at some point my lawyer came and I broke down in front of Investigating Officers and I said, “Listen, I don’t want you to see me breaking down right now as my weakness, it’s just that I I have taken an anti-psychotic and I am breaking down a bit because it’s a lot to handle. When I came out and I was crying in front of my lawyer and I was choking and there was like water from my nose, and my eyes, and at some point, one of the assistants comes outside and says, “Ma’am can you please cry later I have to go home to my kid.”

Julie: Yeah, it is shocking. The absolute lack of high empathy.

Rana: Let’s assume that I was a criminal for the sake of argument. Assume for the sake of argument! How do you even do that to a criminal? You don’t do that. You don’t do that to anybody. You don’t do that to a journalist, you don’t do that to a human being because we are all vulnerable people.

So, one of the reasons the question that you asked is I want to normalize it for people who are struggling with it to speak the truth to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to break down while, you’re telling the story. It’s okay to feel humiliated and ashamed sometimes because that’s how the world is, and we are not supposed to be tough and strong all the time. So, I want to normalize this for other journalist colleagues, especially young journalists who are watching this. Because they need to know this. Because they are operating in this world, where there’s a construct of how journalists should operate. I want them to know that I am proud of the young journalists in India. I was speaking to somebody yesterday in the morning, he’s just about 22 and he said, “Ma’am, I am disillusioned” I said, “I am sorry, we have done our bit for you to feel safe in the profession today” and many of us need to take accountability for not giving a safe atmosphere to our young journalists. We are not. I mean look at the journalistic atmosphere in India, what are the journalism students who are aspiring to be journalists, and will they want to get into the profession. They will not. They will not! I mean what my family has had to go through. My father’s bank account was sealed on his 75th Birthday. The Income Tax Officer says, “I buy the powers vested in me. I hereby freeze all your bank accounts of all family members for non-payment of advanced tax, mind you!

That’s what I am subjected to. So, I am a human and I am supposed to break down because sometimes there’s only so much that you can take between sitting with your lawyer and sitting with your tax lawyer and doing your journalistic work and managing your family and managing your health. That’s a lot that goes. When I went undercover, I did not get my periods for 6 to 8 months and the entire hormones went haywire and that’s when I fell into this trap of depression. That’s when I had a nervous breakdown. I have had days when I have sat in front of my psychiatrist and said, “Can I just numb myself, can you give me something?” Because suicide is haram in Islam and I don’t want to do that but can you just give me something to numb me. If I have to pay the price, I don’t want others to pay that price. We have to make a safe atmosphere for young journalists to feel safe to report and speak the truth not worrying about the consequences, it will have on their families.  My brother has been jobless for the last 3 years because he is my brother. He has 3 kids and I am not saying this because I demand anybody’s sympathy, I am saying this because I want a better future for my journalist colleagues; present and future. And, that’s what I am speaking and standing here and speaking here for.

Julie: Indeed. And, I am not going to say brave but your frankness and your candour and how you have demonstrated that journalists today working in war zones are familiar with the physical threats and the physical risks but what you’re describing and what other women journalists who have been unfortunately similarly, targeted around the world, is a form of psychological warfare. We talk about the physical injuries, we have learned to do that within journalism. We’re only just learning to do it in the context of psychological injury. And, I think what you are saying Rana, for what it’s worth is a really powerful call to action on that score, right? It’s figuring out how we can support journalists individually, collectively to be not resilient, because I hate that word. How can you possibly build up resilience to tolerate what you are describing, but, to create situations where at the response level, you know, whether it’s a state, whether it’s international organizations ensuring that they are recognising this psychological injury as a significant component of the threats against journalists, particularly women journalists who are singled out for some of the most humiliating misrepresentations and also subject to some of the worst threats of sexual violence, that we see.

So, we need to wind up now but I want to give you one last chance Rana if there’s anything else that you want to say on this platform that you haven’t already said, feel free otherwise we can wind up. We are not allowed to take questions unfortunately due to COVID regulations. But you can post them online and figure out a way to answer them.

Rana: I just want to thank each one of you for being, it feels great to be heard and respected and to be acknowledged. I remember when I came into Parousia. The other day, I landed here and a lot of strangers outside Hotel Brufani, where I am staying, just came and hugged me saying, Oh my God! You got in safe and I felt respected. I felt like my struggle was being acknowledged. I felt like I was loved and wanted and I was not alone.

So, thank you so much for making me feel loved and wanted and respected and acknowledged and that means a lot to me and people back home in the country, I hope to get the same kind of love. Thank you so much for a wonderful audience.

Julie: And, I think we need to stand and feel the love and also let’s keep watch on Rana as she flies back to India and in the days ahead.

I hear you. (hugging) Amazing.

Thank you very much, everybody.